All Too Well
by Longlive23
Summary: After a huge fight with Lexie Grey, Mark Sloan breaks off the relationship and takes the next plane to Casablanca, Morocco. Before heading back to Seattle, he makes it clear to Lexie that he just wants to be friends. After a wild welcome back party, both Lexie and Mark are reconsidering what they thought was the end of their relationship.
1. Chapter 1

**_Lexie: _**

_Well, he was finally here. Mark was. I mean, it took him a while but he was finally here. When his plane first touched down in Seattle, I rushed to the airport to meet him. His arms were open to greet me and for a second it felt like I was his again...until he put me down and brought me back to reality with the simple words: _

"I missed you, bud! How has Seattle Grace been doing without my amazing plastic skills?" His voice was warm, not a hint of cruelty in them but his words stung worse than salt on an open wound.

"It's running perfect. We're completely fine without you." Lexie tried to mask her words with a teasing gentleness, but she really hoped she came off as cold to him. How could he just pretend like there was nothing between them?

Mark chuckled. "How is Torres and Robbins doing with Sophia? I meant to call but uh...Well, you know." He trailed off, his blue eyes tinged with gray like a storm on the horizon, becoming increasingly distant.

Lexie did know. She knew all too well. The fight between Mark and Lexie right before Mark up and left for Casablanca, Morocco without a word to her. The nights leading up to the evening when Mark called her and apologized to her, wanting to start over as just friends. Lexie remembered it all.

Looking over at him, her dark brown eyes sparkled for a second. Maybe there was still a chance..._No_. She shook the thoughts out of her head and looked down at Mark's luggage. "Do you need any help?"

Mark glanced down at his suitcase and shook his head quickly. "No, I've got it. Just get me back to Meredith's house and get this welcome back party started!" His enthusiasm was one of pure mockery to Lexie's unmet expectations of him kissing her and saying he wanted her back. She bit her lip and sighed inwardly. _So much for that._

Climbing into the driver's seat, she watched in the rear-view mirror as Mark put his luggage in the back of her truck. He appeared so nonchalant about all of this. It was unnerving. How could he just be so confident around her? It was worse than the infamous Mark cold shoulder.

Once in the passenger's seat, Mark looked onwards toward the wet July pavement in front of them. "In Casablanca it was sunny. Or at least it was when I was there."

"Of course it was." She rolled her eyes and put the key into the ignition, the car slowly lurching forward. She tightly gripped the wheel with both of her hands and grimaced. She could barely even look at him.

Mark immediately noticed the tension-as always-but didn't press the subject. "You'll get carpal tunnel gripping that wheel that hard."

Lexie ignored him though she really wanted to laugh and playfully punch his shoulder. He had the ability to immediately make her feel better, but for once _she _wanted to be the one who was closed off. He deserved it anyway for taking off and leaving her without a goodbye.

The rest of the ride to Meredith's humble abode was full of small talk. Only on Lexie's half, of course. Mark, on the other hand, couldn't stop gushing about Moroccan culture and how much he missed the feeling of the scalpel in his hand and blah, blah, blah. Lexie was just focused on how much whiskey she could stomach to get through this painful welcome back party.

"Well, would you lookie here!" She practically sang as she parked near the curb across from Meredith's house. "We're here!"

Finally, Mark let out a belated sigh and looked over at her, his tone dark. "Is there something going on that I need to know about, Lexie?"

Lexie shook her head, her chocolate brown hair hitting her in the face. She stopped and smirked at him. "Of course not. I'm pretty swell right now." The sarcasm was too obvious. She groaned and got out of the vehicle, slamming the door and stomped up to Meredith's doorstep.

The door swung open and Derek Shepherd, Meredith's husband, smiled at her. He glanced past her at Mark, who was still carrying his suitcase.

Dropping the heavy luggage on the porch, Mark practically leapt at Derek and gave him a huge bear hug. "Man, it's sure good to be home!"

Derek patted Mark's back. "Well, it's good to have you back!" He smiled that perfect smile and Lexie was temporarily overwhelmed with jealousy. Meredith, of course, was the luckier sister. She got the guy while Lexie could barely move on from her last boyfriend who, at the moment, seemed to care less about the fact that little over two weeks ago, he had feelings for her. Or so she thought.

Meredith popped up behind Derek and hugged Mark. She took one look at her sister and wrinkled her eyebrows. She knew something was wrong.

"Let's get this party started!" Mark cheered, grabbing his luggage and stepping into the warm home. He was surprised to see all of his friends and family-even his daughter Sophia. He instantly moved to Sophia, swooping her out of Callie's hands and bouncing her up and down in his arms.

"Well, well. Looks like Mark Sloan is back in town," Callie announced, crossing her arms and offering him a warm smile.

"And it looks like Callie Torres still hates my guts," Mark scoffed, grinning down at Sophia. "Did you miss Daddy? Huh?" Sophia was too distracted by Arizona, who was motioning for him to hand her over.

"Next time, remember to say goodbye to your daughter and maybe Callie wouldn't hate you so much," Arizona's blue eyes sparkled with amusement.

Raising his eyebrows, he glanced over his shoulder at Lexie, who was looking sullen-faced and talking to Meredith."Yeah, I don't think I'll be going anywhere soon. You're not the only one unhappy with me."

Callie pretended to pout. "Aw, does Mark Sloan have the Lexie Grey blues?"

Mark ignored the jab and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. He didn't have the time nor the energy to gossip about his love life with his ex-girlfriend and mother of his child in front of everybody including Callie's own girlfriend, Arizona. He just wanted to get drunk and forget the tension of tonight.

Webber, the former chief of surgery of Seattle Grace, sauntered over to Mark and patted him on the back goodheartedly. "It's great to have you back, Dr. Sloan. The plastics have missed you."

Mark nodded and took a long swig of his beer, taking in Webber's aged face. He had grown older since the last time Mark had seen him. "How is Adele doing?"

The senior doctor bowed his head and looked down at his feet, sighing. Was this the wrong time and place to bring it up? "Well, some days she acts like normal. Other days she thinks I'm the pizza delivery guy. She won't let the in-home nurses anywhere near her..." Richard Webber trailed off. "You know what? This is a party. For you. Drink up. Celebrate. Don't worry about me." The chief smiled gingerly and walked to the other side of the living room, conversing with Miranda Bailey.

Mark looked over at Lexie again. She was now sitting on the sofa closest to the platter of whiskey shots, gazing down at the carpet. Meredith was still speaking to her but it didn't seem like Lexie was paying attention. Meredith glanced up briefly and met Mark's eyes. She snapped her attention back to her sister quickly and Mark immediately knew they were talking about him.

Clenching his jaw, he turned around, taking a huge gulp of his beer and resting it on a coffee table before grabbing another one and heading towards April Kepner. He knew just what to do, even if it were borderline cruel. April was an easy target. She was insecure and took all the attention she could get from men.

Mark tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around, smiling. "Hey! Welcome back, Dr. Sloan."

Smirking, he shrugged. "You can call me Mark. We're not in the hospital anymore." He kept his voice low and husky, making it so no one else could hear.

Avery Jackson shifted from foot to foot beside April. He could still definitely hear. Mark smiled politely at him. Jackson was a good friend of his. He wouldn't mind if he took advantage of April for one night...

April blinked. She wasn't stupid. "Uh, okay. Mark." Her voice was hesitant. Everybody at Seattle Grace knew Mark to sleep around with girls. April might be innocent, but when it came to Mark she was not naive.

Avery coughed and Mark looked up at him. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing." There was a sense of aggressiveness behind his voice that was doused heavily with nonchalance. Mark could still feel the tension and there was anger tinged in the doctor's sky-blue eyes.

Mark's eyes widened. Jackson and Kepner were a _thing _now! Well, there went _that_. He took in a sharp breath and nodded at Avery. "You two don't get too wild tonight." He looked at Avery for a moment, sending a silent apology to his best friend.

Sleeping with April was not an option. Lexie was definitely not an option unless he wanted her to feel he wanted to get back together. Meredith was married to one of his closest friends, Bailey was engaged, Cristina was here with Owen and they were getting along for once. Not to mention the fact that there were no other women doctors or even nurses here. He was out of luck. He would have to just drink it out and hope to the God he never believed in that he would pass out on the couch and everyone but Meredith and Derek would leave.

Once everybody managed to say welcome back to Mark, Meredith turned up the music and began dancing with Cristina. Sophia and Zola had already been tucked in bed and were both sound asleep. Meredith motioned for Mark to get up and dance, but he stayed on the couch watching everybody basically make a fool out of themselves. Even Derek and Alex Karev.

It wasn't until people began starting to really heavily drink that Mark noticed Lexie wasn't in the living room. Or the kitchen. Neither was April. Getting up from the recliner, he searched throughout the house for the two out of curiosity until he heard muffled voices coming from the guest bedroom. The door was slightly ajar. Mark silently walked towards it, peering in. Lexie and April were both perched on the edge of the bed, facing each other. Lexie's back was to Mark.

She was crying.


	2. Chapter 2

He closed his eyes slowly and leaned against the wall, listening to her small hiccups and sniffles. He knew that she was crying over him. He just knew it.

April was trying her best to calm Lexie down, but her efforts were useless. Lexie would not stop crying. Finally, Lexie spoke.

"I thought things were going to be different," she sobbed. "I thought when he got off that plane, he would kiss me and tell me he wanted to try again and that he was sorry-so, so sorry for breaking my heart."

"Lex, you know he's sorry but-" April was cut off.

"He broke my heart! He broke my heart and he goes on with his life as if it doesn't matter. He gets to wake up every morning without regrets, without pain while I am broken. I can barely even look at him." She paused to wipe her tears with the back of her hand. "He was the first person I had genuinely loved and cared for and he just pushed me away."

"Maybe he was afraid," April began. Her hazel eyes were panicked and it looked like she was about to cry too.

"Of what?" Lexie said, being forcefully quiet. Mark could hear the anger trembling in her voice, just waiting to explode.

"I don't know. Maybe because he doesn't want to get hurt?"

He rolled his eyes. There goes April Kepner going all Dr. Phil on all of us. It's not like Mark didn't trust Lexie. She would never hurt him. He knew that. He could hurt her though and that is what he was terrified of.

Lexie jumped up and put her hands on her hips, glaring down at April. Mark had to leave before they noticed he was here. He silently ran down the hallway and straight down the stairs, but stopped when he ran right smack into Meredith. "Oof!" He exclaimed. He staggered backwards and Meredith shoved him back even more.

"Hey, watch where you're going Sloan. Just because you're back in Seattle doesn't mean you get to call the shots," she laughed. "Why are you in such a rush?"

Mark couldn't help but appear guilty. His face was probably bright red though he barely blushed when he was embarrassed. He didn't know what to say. _Oh, just spying on your sister crying to Kepner about me. That's all, _he thought. Yeah, that wasn't going to go over well with Meredith. She would have a ball kicking his ass for such a thing. "Well, I was just looking for the bathroom."

She raised her eyebrows, obviously not believing his lame story. "Mark, are you that hammered? You know this house like the back of your hand. It's in this very same hallway next to the basement door on the left."

"Right," he nodded and headed towards that direction. "Uh, thanks," he called over his shoulder.

Instead of heading straight toward the bathroom, he waited until he heard Meredith sigh, probably roll her eyes dramatically and head back into the living room. That was when he pounced for the basement door. He ran down the stairs, surprisingly not tripping and breaking his neck and dived onto the comfy L-shaped chocolate brown couch. He closed his eyes and let out a huge sigh, slapping the back of his hand against his forehead and stretching his legs out. He had just witnessed the aftereffect of what happened when he hurt a girl. He had seen women basically tear off his head for not remembering to call them after he had sex with them, but he'd never seen a girl get that upset over a heartbreak he had inflicted.

Lexie was completely distraught over something that had happened three weeks ago. There was still something there between him and her, but he just didn't want to start up the relationship again only for it to end because of his stupid trust issues. He felt like banging his head against a wall. Before he left for Morocco, he had broken up with her because he couldn't imagine loving someone thanks to the walls that he had built up due to past girlfriends and one-night-stands that Mark had wished into something more than they really were. Sure, he slept with girls like STDs didn't exist and he wasn't vulnerable to them, but deep down he just wanted to settle down and have a family. He wanted to play by the rules for once in his life.

Mark had thought Lexie was going to be the girl he could finally have a family with, but then the distance built up all around him and his walls hardened. They were almost impossible to knock down, even with Lexie. He could tell she was getting frustrated with his standoffish personality. He wasn't ready to face her rejection, so he broke it off himself. He couldn't lose the one girl who gave an actual damn about him.

Huffing, he jumped up from the couch and raced up the stairs one by one. He was going to get Lexie back. He was going to get her back.


	3. Chapter 3

"Whoooo!" Lexie screamed as she cautiously put one high-heeled foot on the mahogany coffee table, careful not to knock over a half-full bottle of beer and waved her arms around. Now that both of her feet were on the coffee table, she began to dance wildly. She could hear Meredith and the rest of her fellow doctors firmly urging her to get down, and she faintly heard Alex snickering, but she couldn't stop. She felt so carefree and Mark was nowhere to be found.

"_Lexie! Lexie! _Get down from there!" Her sister screamed as she held out her hand. "Come on, Lexie! This is not very attractive!"

As much as Meredith was probably right, Lexie couldn't help but scoff at the irony. Meredith used to be more of a party girl than her and she did plenty of table dancing. At least Lexie was keeping her clothes on, for now...

Somebody turned the music off. _What the hell? _"Hey, turn that back on!" She screamed at Richard Webber. If she was sober, she would've felt humiliated. Completely mortified. However, she was completely toasted and she didn't care what her former boss thought of her. "Turn it up!" She screamed, but before she knew it, she was flailing her arms and falling backwards. Thank God for the couch or else she would've probably gotten a horrible concussion.

Of course, everyone rushed towards her to make sure she was all right. What was everybody's deal tonight? Why was everybody acting extra cautious around her, as if she was so fragile she would break with the wrong words or the wrong actions? She guessed that was an understatement since she was strewn across the couch, completely trashed. She looked around the room frantically, hoping she wouldn't see Mark. He couldn't see her like this. He couldn't! He would never want her back after this!

When she found him, she just wanted to dissolve into the couch. He was staring at her, his nostrils flared. His eyes, they were a different story. They appeared to be full of remorse._Good, _she thought. _Let him feel bad. He deserves it. He deserves every last bit of it, the bastard. _These thoughts only triggered Lexie to feel more hurt and guilty herself though. She dropped her gaze from his and fidgeted with her hands. She wasn't paying attention to anybody around her, who were probably giving her disapproving glances. She just wanted to go home. She needed a ride home.

"Mer," she called out to her sister.

Meredith turned around and gave her an annoyed look. "What?"

Lexie cringed. She never wanted to be that girl who was an emotional trashcan at that really cool party, but she was tonight. She was the stereotype of brokenhearted drunk girls. She should feel ashamed of herself, and she did. "I need a ride home," she whimpered. "I don't want to be here anymore."

Her sister looked even more annoyed. She threw her hands up in the air. "I'm too wasted to drive you. Derek is already asleep. Ask Webber." With that, she gave her sister a quick, dismissive hug and walked away. She passed past Mark while heading to the dining room and bumped against his shoulder aggressively. This was all his fault. Lexie looked a mess because of him.

Mark's insides turned when Meredith bumped into him purposely. He knew that right at this moment her, April and Lexie hated his guts. He wanted to scream at them and punch a wall and drop to his knees and beg for Lexie's forgiveness and cry his eyes out at the same time. He didn't know what to feel. Guilt, of course. Overwhelming guilt that overpowered any other emotion that was coursing through his veins at the moment besides anger. Ferocious anger. He didn't know how to contain it.

That was it. He stomped towards Lexie and glared down at her. "Lexie."

She didn't look up at him. Only stared at the carpet and sniffled.

"Lexie." Mark repeated again, this time is tone more firmer.

No response.

"Lexie."

Silence.

"_Lexie!" _He bellowed. His anger was out now. He didn't want to hurt her anymore than he already had, but she was not responding. He buried his head in his hands and shook his head slowly. "God damn it, Lexie. Talk to me!"

Everybody had filtered out of the room at this point. Mark was relieved. This wasn't something he wanted to publicly display. He rarely ever showed his emotions in front of people-especially his coworkers. Only Derek and Avery were the ones who were so lucky to witness such disasters.

He sighed and looked down at Lexie again. Her head was cast down, her dark hair falling in her face. "Come on. Talk to me." When she didn't respond, he hunkered down and supported her neck, swooping her up into his arms and plopping down on the couch again. He didn't have to say anything then. She just curled up to his chest and began sobbing. On his favorite dress shirt. Whatever. It's not like he was ever going to wear it again. He'd stained it with beer and nacho salsa. He let her cry there, on his chest. He stroked her hair and shushed her.

After she had passed out from crying, he then realized that she would barely remember any of this. It was basically a free pass for him to move on from it and go on with his life. Most importantly, it was a free pass for Lexie to finally move on with her life. Maybe she had been cried out. Maybe that was what she needed-closure with him. She needed him to hold her one last time-reassure her one last time, for it to be easier to get up and walk away and act as if nothing had ever happened. For her to finally be happy and for the burden Mark had shoved upon her shoulders to lift.

Mark wasn't going to let himself off that easy, however. His work here was not done. He slowly got up and gently laid her down on the couch, placing the matching brown afghan over Lexie's limp body and kissing her forehead. When he set out to get her back, it wasn't because he felt bad. It was because he wanted to make her happy again. He wanted to try again. He wanted to try to live out his dreams with her. Of all the girls he had slept with, messed with, toyed with, Lexie was the only one he had felt remorse for when he had hurt her. He broke her. Now it was his time to put her back together so he could move on with his life and his future with Lexie.


	4. Chapter 4

Lexie awoke to loud bangs in the kitchen and the smell of pancakes, bacon and eggs. She sniffed the air and sat up slowly, rubbing her forehead. She had a killer headache. What did she _do _last night? She looked around and realized she was still at Meredith's house. She swung the blanket off her legs and got up, stretching her arms and legs as she walked into the kitchen to meet Meredith and Derek. Their backs were turned to her and they were both busily working, making breakfast. Lexie sashayed over to Zola and kissed the top of her head.

When Meredith heard her, she turned around and smiled at her younger sister. "Well, good morning, sleepy head!" Her warm smile assured Lexie that all the tension from last night had melted away.

God...No! Last night! Floods of thoughts and emotions and memories rushed through Lexie's head like water down a coursing river. Screw it! Last night was terrible. She had made a fool of herself in front of her coworkers and friends and most of all, the man she had feelings for. She knew that come tomorrow morning, she would have to face all the people she had humiliated herself in front of. Even Mark.

Mark.

She remembered passing out due to her excessive amount of crying, but she didn't realize who was holding her until now. Of course she knew while it was going on, but she didn't recall the memory until this very moment. Her face immediately turned red and she pulled back a kitchen chair and sat down, resting her elbows on the table and propping her face up with the palms of her hands. Mark had held her again. He had comforted her. Surely that was because he felt bad. Or at the very least because she was _begging _for him to. Was she? She shuddered at the thought. Even if she was drunk, she wouldn't be that desperate, though she wouldn't mind...

Meredith set a plate of hot food in front of her. "Eat. Let's hope that hangover of yours goes away quickly."

Lexie groaned. "We can only hope."

Laughing, Derek sat across from Lexie with his own plate of food, fixing a small Scooby-Doo plate in front of Zola full of cut up bits of pancakes. "Last night was uh," he paused, searching for the right words. Lexie fought back the urge to roll her eyes and slam her head down on the table out of embarrassment. "Well, it was very...interesting," he finished. Successfully, some might add because Lexie didn't take any offense. He was right. Last night was _very _interesting if there was lack of a better word for what it actually was, which was disastrously embarrassing.

Nodding, she smiled politely at Derek. "Yep, interesting it was." She took a bite of her pancake and waved her fork at Meredith. "No thanks to Meredith, who refused to drive me home. So, sorry for you having to cook me breakfast."

"I refused to drive you home because I was drunk. I did us all a favor," Meredith said. She still remained at the counter, breaking off a small piece of bacon and popping it into her mouth. She always did like to eat standing up. "You should be thanking me."

"Ah, what's for breakfast?" Mark yawned as he entered the kitchen. Everybody looked up at him and Lexie felt like disappearing, _again._ "What?" He asked. He was wearing the same clothes from last night, his white button-up shirt wrinkled and his sandy brown hair disheveled, five-o'-clock shadow and all.

Lexie looked down at her plate, suddenly losing her appetite. She thought she would only have to face him at work, but turns out he had stayed at Meredith's house. "How did he?" She asked.

Derek laughed, shaking his head. "He refused to leave."

"That's right," said Mark as he grabbed a plate that was already set out for him on the table and helped himself to a heaping amount of eggs from the frying pan next to Meredith. He smiled at Lexie before sitting down next to her. She felt like hurling her flap jacks all over the table. "After last night, I wanted to make sure you were fully recovered and feeling yourself again."

_As if that's even possible,_ Lexie snorted. "You don't have to worry about me." She was dead serious. Thanks to last night, she had realized a couple of things: Mark was only there for her when he felt he needed to be. That may be a good thing to other girls, but it turned Lexie off. Partially because last night she was just trying to have fun and forget about him and partially because she knew he only held her like that because he felt guilty for the way he had treated her beforehand. There was no emotional feelings underneath it all and she wasn't about to waste her time on a relationship that didn't exist and was going absolutely nowhere.

Derek and Meredith eyed each other, wriggling their eyebrows and sighing. "It's so obvious," Meredith mouthed to her husband. She could see the corners of his eyes crinkling into a smile, but his mouth remained in a straight line. He was trying to be both on Lexie's and Mark's side. Meredith couldn't help but giggle a bit.

Mark and Lexie both snapped their heads up at her, giving her mystified looks that felt like daggers. She ducked her head back down to her plate and scooped up some more eggs and bacon. She was going to stay out of this. "Come on, Derek. I think we should leave these two alone."

"You know what, Meredith? You are probably right, as always!" Derek hopped up and raced up the stairs. Lexie could faintly hear him chuckling and Meredith followed after him, Zola on her hip, saying something Lexie couldn't hear.

Now the two were left alone in the kitchen with nothing to say. Well, Lexie didn't have anything to say. She just stared at the salt and pepper shakers in the middle of the table and fidgeted with her food. Her appetite was completely gone. The hunger was now replaced with a sick, embarrassed feeling. Last night was the first time she had gotten wasted in a long time, even after she broke up with Mark. A feeling of shame was settling over her like a thick blanket of snow that she dreaded to see every time winter came around. She let her eyes wander toward Mark. He was eating his eggs happily, as if there was not an awkward silence and as if she didn't appear to be pissed. Did she even _look _pissed? Obviously not, otherwise he would have said something already! Wouldn't he have?

Once again, Lexie was perplexed by his inability to give a flying fuck. She crossed her arms, sitting back in her chair and stared at him. She didn't want to say anything. She wanted him to be the first to say something. Lexie was sick and tired of being the first to ask if something was wrong or if there is anything she could do because he always got the last word and it aggravated her so badly. She tapped her foot impatiently.

Mark looked up from his eggs and raised his eyebrows. "What?"

She stared at him.

"Okay. I'm not going to play the silent game. When you want to talk, open your mouth and talk to me. I'm not going anywhere." He smirked and shoved another forkful of fluffy eggs into his mouth, dropping his gaze from her.

It took her a while, but Lexie finally knew what to say. "You didn't have to do what you did last night. I was a drunken mess. Just another girl at a party who had a little too much to drink. Meredith had it handled."

He rolled his eyes, putting down his fork on the plate and folding his fingers together. He knew this was going to happen. He knew Lexie was going to try to justify why he should have just left her to look like a hot mess on Meredith's couch, crying about him of all people. He took in a sharp, exhausted breath and then let it out. "Listen, Lex. I did that because I care for you. You were crying. Just because we aren't together anymore, doesn't mean that I don't want to be your friend."

She snorted. "Yeah, I know. You made that clear a week ago when you called me."

Mark shook his head. He didn't even know where to begin with this. He wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to get down on his knees and beg for her forgiveness. He wanted to apologize. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

Lexie's eyes widened. "You're _sorry?_ You're sorry. Wow. I have heard that before. Not only from you, by the way, so don't go thinking I'm naive. I know how this works. Last night, I was drunk. I was drunk because I wanted to have fun. I wanted to have fun because you hurt me. You hurt me because..." she broke off her sentence, shaking her head. She flung her hands up in the air, giving up. "Well, because you did! I started crying, you felt guilty and you held me. Now you are here, saying you are sorry. Once your wounded pride is all stitched up, you won't want to have a thing to do with me. I _know_ how this works, Mark."

"That is not what I am doing, Lexie!" He slammed his fist down on the table and stared intensely into her eyes. "You know that is complete bullshit. When other guys do that to you, you know they are for real. They are seriously just fucking with you. Just trying to get into your pants. So maybe I just wanted to get into your pants when I first met you. Maybe I did, you know! That doesn't mean that once I saw what a wonderful, magnificient girl you could be that I didn't want to be around you."

Lexie was flabbergasted. What was he saying? She was in shock.

"In fact, I wanted to be around you all the time," Mark continued, his voice softer and lower. He shut his eyes tight and covered his face with his hands. "I know you want to believe me, Lexie. You do. You're my Little Grey."

She froze when he called her 'Little Grey.' He had called her that when they first hooked up. She _did _want to believe him. She really did. She just couldn't bring herself to get hurt again. Not by him. It was much easier to move on and find another guy and forget about him. Who was she kidding? It wasn't that easy at all. If she found another guy, just like she did with Jackson, she would still be in love with Mark. She had to face her fears and learn to be without him to fully move on from this relationship and on with her life.

"I don't want another relationship, Mark. I know what you're saying is maybe true, but I don't want to take the chance." She got up from the table and cleared her plate, heading straight for the door where her coat hung on a hook. She grabbed it, slid it on and was out the door before Mark could protest.

Mark slammed his head down on the table. He had given her his everything right there. He had laid his heart on the table, almost literally! How could she not want him back after that? She was the girl who was dancing on the table. He was the man who didn't take advantage of her, but held her until she stopped crying. She was the girl who was used and abused. He was the man who bothered to attempt to fix her. He wanted to hold her like he used to. He wanted to kiss her like he used to. He wanted to touch her, feel her, sleep with her, cuddle with her, introduce her to his family. He wanted to do everything with her.

And she walked out.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day at work wasn't hectic. Not even a bit. Which didn't help Lexie's thoughts from wandering back to what Mark had said yesterday. Most of her patients didn't need her and none of the other doctors were letting her scrub in on surgeries. It made her feel like she ruined her professional stance in her workplace. She absolutely despised herself for letting herself go in front of her coworkers. At a random bar or club or party, it would have been fine. However, table dancing while intoxicated in front of Chief of Surgery, Owen Hunt? Unacceptable. Especially considering he couldn't look her in the eye now. He probably thought she was just another immature girl who wasn't ready to be a surgeon. Great.

This was all Mark's fault, of course. Maybe she wouldn't have been acting wild and crazy if he hadn't hurt her in the first place. Or if he showed any other emotion than happiness when he got back from Morocco. She wanted him to feel bad. Technically she got her wish, but not in the way she had wanted. She wanted him to feel bad for hurting her before she turned into the stereotypical self-pitying drunk white girl.

"Dr. Grey," a voice from behind her said. She snapped her head up. It was Mark.

She put on a serious face. Lexie had to gather what was left of her professional appearance. Especially around Mark. "Dr. Sloan," she nodded. "What can I do to help you?"

Mark smirked and narrowed his eyes. A smile was twitching at the corners of his lips. Lexie fought back the urge to smack it right off his face. "You know what I want, Lexie Grey."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You may only address me as 'Dr. Lexie Grey' and whatever it is you want, it better be related to work." Lexie wasn't in the mood to put up with his usual crap. She just wanted to move on from what had happened last night. She filed what was left of her patients' results into her file cabinet and slammed the cabinet door shut.

"Can you please just talk to me like we used to talk?"

Lexie tilted her head, pretending to actually give his proposal an actual thought. "Um, well...How about no?" She turned around, her slick ponytail swishing and walked away from him. She couldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that she desperately wanted to talk to him. She did. She wanted to confess to him that she _did _want him back, but just didn't know how to do that without completely beheading her ego.

"Hey, Lexie!" Alex shouted as he ran towards her. "Lexie."

She rolled her eyes. What could Alex possibly want from her? She turned around on her heel. "What, Karev?"

He gave her a pretend wounded look, puppy dog eyes and all. "Last night you were a complete hot mess," he laughed. "You should've seen how angry Mark was!"

What were they, in high school? She sighed. "Listen, Alex, I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Oh, come on!" He whined. "You've got to give Mark a chance! He's been moping around this place all day. He thought he was going to get you back. You seemed like an easy catch."

Lexie knitted her eyebrows together and crossed her arms. "Excuse me?"

The pediatric surgeon widened his eyes and ran a hand through his messy brown hair. "Oops, sorry. I didn't mean it like that. You're not _easy, _but...but what I meant was-"

"Yeah, I know," Lexie sighed. "You meant you thought I would take him back in a nanosecond."

"Yeah," Alex gestured impatiently with his hand. "That."

"Too bad that was a wrong assumption to make," she smirked and walked quickly away from him. She could hear him groan and retreat. She briefly wondered how much money Mark had offered Alex for him to approach her like that.

The rest of the day was too simple. She had a short conversation with one of her patients who was suffering with dementia about how her daughter-who, her oldest son informed her, died ten years ago-came to visit her yesterday afternoon and brought her flowers, balloons and some chocolates. Even though Lexie wasn't that good with old people, she was particularly good with Mrs. Jensen, who was the sweetest old woman you could ever meet.

Before the dementia got bad, Mrs. Jensen would tell Lexie of her late husband, Johnny. He used to be a factory worker, working hard to put food on the table for their six children Jack, the oldest, Lucille, Carol, Kiefer, Anne, and Jeanette. They had first met when she was seventeen and he was twenty-three at a church get-together. Their fathers had been friends when they were in high school. Once Mrs. Jensen turned twenty, Johnny got permission from Mrs. Jensen's father to marry her. They were married and living together happily for sixty-five years until three years ago when Johnny passed away from throat cancer. Mrs. Jensen still talks of him as if he was still living.

Every time the old woman would tell Lexie of her husband, she would just sit there and marvel at how love could begin at such a young age and last until death separated them. Sometimes Mrs. Jensen would begin crying. Not the kind of crying where you're sad. The kind of crying where you're happy, but sad that the times were gone. It was the reminiscing kind of sadness. It was bittersweet and it was melancholic and it was beautiful and it was tragic. Lexie always left the cold, sterile room with a warm feeling in her stomach but an emptiness somewhere in the pit of her core, faintly wondering if she would ever experience that kind of lasting love.

It was when she was thinking of this kind of love that she had accidentally walked into the break room where doctors would come to nap off the pressure of their day between breaks that she found Mark crying. She took in a sharp breath and silently debated whether she should just leave or stay. She stood there frozen in the threshold.

Mark glanced up and shook his head when he saw her. His eyes were red and his mouth looked as if it were permanently etched into a pitiful pout. "Have you come to tell me I'm still a scumbag?" He asked.

She looked around the room, not knowing what to say. "Um, no. I came in here to take a quick nap. I didn't know you were going to be in here."

There was that painful expression on his face again. He's guilt tripping her. That must be it. He would never cry like this in front of her, ever! He was too much of a man's man. He had the biggest head around this hospital besides Christina Yang and Alex Karev! Lexie shifted her weight to her other foot, putting one hand on her hip and holding the other one out to Mark. "Come on, get up," she said. "You can't cry at work. You cry at home. You cry in the bathroom, but you do _not _cry in front of your coworkers. I could use this as a weakness against you."

Mark grabbed her hand and forcefully pulled her down to his level, looking her in the eye. Lexie was about to fight back until he said, "You wouldn't. You wouldn't because you love me."

Lexie shook her head, her mouth wide open. "No. No, I actually don't, Mark."

"You still do."

"No," she shook her arm, trying to get away from him.

"Damn it, Lex!" Mark groaned. He pressed his lips hard against hers and then shoved her away from him. "You know you love me. You still love me, God damn it! Just admit it!"

Lexie struggled to catch her breath. She knew Mark was going to have a hard time accepting the fact that she had walked out on him after he asked her to get back together with him, but she didn't think he was going to go so far as to force her to kiss him. She slowly backed away from him. He covered his face with his hands and groaned again. Lexie didn't know what to say or do. She just backed away from him. She needed to get out of here. Not because she didn't want to be around him. Not because she was afraid of him, but because she was glad he had kissed her like that and brought her back to her senses.

She did love him, but how could she say it out loud? She didn't want to surrender so easily to him. She didn't want to give up just like that. She wanted him to fight for her, to show her that her love was worth the struggle. She didn't want some forced kiss in a stuffy hospital room. She wanted real, tangible proof.

Mark sighed and looked up at her again. "Why don't you understand that I love you, Lexie?"

Lexie couldn't look him in the eye. "Prove it to me, Mark."

"I-" Mark began.

"I love you too."

_Let me know what you guys think. Or not *smiles* Thanks for the reviews! I'm so stoked that people are actually reading this LOL! I didn't expect anybody to like it as much as you guys do. I'm glad you guys are in love with it as much as I am in love with it. Every day I get new ideas for it and which direction I want Lexie to take and what words I want Mark to say and I see it so clearly in my head that sometimes I stay up a bit too late fangirling about it. Thanks for reading -Livv xox_


	6. Chapter 6

Lexie exited the break room and closed the door quickly. She needed to get out of there and fast. She couldn't stand to be that close to Mark anymore. She had just broken the promise she had made to herself to stay away from him and it felt like her chest was going to cave in and her stomach was going to explode all at the same time.

Hurrying into Mrs. Jensen's room, she closed the door gently and leaned her back up against it, gasping for air. For some unexplainable reason, she couldn't seem to catch her breath. She opened her mouth to say something, but Mrs. Jensen cut her off.

"Lucille?" she asked, her shaky, unstable voice rising an octave. "Is that you?"

Lexie did a double-take of the room. She was the only other person in the room. Her heart sunk. Mrs. Jensen was having another episode. "No, it's Dr. Lexie Grey. I came to check up on you. Is everything all right?" She asked slowly. She knew not to make any quick movements or raise her voice much higher than a soothing lull.

"Lucille, Jack tried to tell me you died. Where's your father? Why would Jack say such a thing? Where is John? I swear, if he's late again-"

"Mrs. Jensen," Lexie interrupted. "I am not Lucille."

"What do you mean you're not Lucille? You look just like her! Come on and sit down." She patted the tiny unoccupied part of her bed. "You look upset. Has Will managed to hurt you again?"

Lexie hesitated, then sat down on the bed. "Who's Will?" she asked carefully. They say that if you bring up memories with a person who is suffering with dementia, that it can bring them to their senses and calm them down.

"He's your fiance, silly. Or at least yesterday he was. You two are always on and off. I tell you two to settle down, but do you listen? No!" Mrs. Jensen shook her head, her head of white hair shaking it with her movements. Her thick New York accent startled Lexie. Where did that come from?

She nodded, playing along. "Every time we set a date for a wedding, he changes his mind, so I know how you feel, Mom."

Mrs. Jensen smiled at me. "See! You agree! I would say find a new boy if it wasn't for the fact that Will is already like my own. He wants to take us back to New York. I say to hell with it. Seattle ain't got nothing for me here. Johnny's worried about the hospital bills. I tell him I'm not sick but-" Her voice broke off. "I'm not sick but-"

"Mrs. Jensen?" Lexie asked cautiously. She didn't know if she was coming out of her episode or having another seizure.

Her voice returned to normal. "I'm sick, aren't I?" she asked, looking up at Lexie.

"Yes, Mrs. Jensen. I'm afraid you are." Lexie looked down at the white sheets, folding and unfolding her hands uncomfortably. She always felt bad for her. The way she talks, you can tell that she loves her family, even if she can't fully remember all the details and she can't distinguish the difference between reality and memories. It was almost kind of cute to see her babble on about how much she loved her son-in-law.

"I...I..." She coked out. "I can't..."

Lexie's eyes widened as she began seizing, eyes rolling to the back of her head, the whites of them exposed. I winced and hit my pager, sending out a warning to all nurses and doctors on call to come and help me. I busied myself around the room, grabbing supplies and holding her down, trying to stop the thrashing movements her body was making.

Owen Hunt burst into the room, along with a whole team of nurses and two other surgeons. They hooked up another IV and wheeled her out of the room before Lexie could give her stats about Mrs. Jensen. She followed Hunt, trailing alongside him and giving him all the information he needed.

"Okay, we're going to rush her into surgery. Call Mr. Jensen and let him know his mother is going into surgery." He raced after the other doctors and left Lexie standing alone in the hallway, feeling desolate.

She immediately sprung into action, slipping her phone out of her pocket and dialing Mr. Jensen's number. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?" His voice croaked out. You could tell he was on edge.

"Hello, Mr. Jensen?" I asked. "Um, I must let you be aware that your mother is going into surgery. She just had a seizure and-"

"What?! I'm coming down right now." The line went dead and Lexie slipped her phone back into her pocket, disappearing into a break room and buried her head into her hands. Her favorite patient was most definitely dying. How was she even supposed to confront her poor son? He's going to be inconsolable when he reaches the hospital and finds out his mother didn't make it out of surgery. She's just too old and frail, she couldn't possibly make it through surgery without becoming a brain dead vegetable on life support for the short rest of her years.

Lexie didn't know how long she stayed in the break room, but when she finally exited it and wiped her now bone-dry and stinging eyes, she practically ran into Dr. Hunt and Mr. Jensen.

"Is it true?" he demanded, his green eyes filled with rage. His face was turning so red, it was almost purple.

"Is what true, sir?" she looked down. She couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes. Not after what had happened to his mother, her favorite patient.

"My mother. You let her sign her own paperwork. Saying that _she can't be placed on life support!"_ He hissed the words, spewing venom out between his teeth that stung.

I cleared my throat. "Sir, she signed those before the dementia set in real bad. She was in the right state of mind when she made that decision. I was only giving her a choice. I didn't think it would come to th-"

"You should have been watching her!" He screamed. Hunt tried to calm him down, but he shook the veteran doctor off his shoulder and pushed him away. "You should have been watching him!"

"I-I'm sorry," Lexie stuttered.

"You'll pay for this," he said, calmly. Too calmly. Like the calm before the storm. I felt myself flinching away from him, scared.

Hunt took Mr. Jensen gently by the shoulders and pointed him in the other direction. Lexie felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and saw that it was Mark. She breathed a sigh of relief. At least he was here.

Mr. Jensen stared too long at both Lexie and Mark. "You'll see what it feels like to have everything you love _ripped _away from you."

And then he was gone.

Lexie looked up at Mark in uncertainty, then shook her head, stepping back into the break room alone.


End file.
